YOU MIGHT BE A SWINGER IF:

1. You see a really hot girl walking down the street and you say to yourself "I wonder if she'll do my wife!"

2. Every bottle of liquor in your house has a big sticker with your membership number or couple name on it.

3. You are running out of excuses to tell your baby-sitter why you come home at 4 am on Saturday nights/Sunday mornings and have a Freshly F'cked look.

4. Your closet is filled with 5" high heeled shoes and you have more lingerie than most department stores.

5. You close an email to your sister with Bi Bi.

6. You go to Jamaica once a year and "Hedo" means something to you.

7. You are running out of reasons to tell your "normal" friends why you can't go out with them.

8. At work, when someone tells of a risqu‚ sexual adventure, most are shocked or stunned, and you say "Cool!"

9. All of a sudden...you have friends in Minnesota, Utah, West Virginia and New Mexico.

10. You are sending out online Christmas cards to people with names like: dareustwo, wifewetandbi, and xoticcouple.

11. Many of your pictures are from different hotel rooms, and in quite a few you have a convention wristband on.

12. Your night stand drawer is full of bar napkins with couple's names and phone numbers.

13. You only know couples by their first names and e-mail addresses.

14. You spend more time grooming your privates than most porn stars.

15. You make plans to meet a "normal" couple at a nice restaurant, and realize you have absolutely nothing you can wear.

16. You're the only one at the gym shower with shaved balls.

17. You both turn your head to watch the hot woman walking down the street!

18. You never open the garage door until you're in the car with the doors closed.

19. You wonder how to explain to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags, blankets, pillows and don't leave until early Sunday afternoon.....

20. Your kids and the baby-sitter ask why mommy already has her coat on when she comes out of the bedroom every Saturday night.

21. When going to a strip club with your guy friends, instead of your wife, seems like a ridiculous waste of time and money.